Goats in the Road

Looking for photos for my long overdue website, I came across this shot. It brought laughter as I recalled the random goats and chickens that seem an inevitable part of foreign travel. In this case, Turkish techno in the background, we slow down, snap photos and smile at the goats in the road...a delightful delay as we embrace our adventure.

Back on domestic soil, it’s Monday morning in January. One kid’s eaten, dressed, brushed teeth (Thank God). After 30 minutes of kid two refusing to eat, dress, brush, Mommy wrestles clothes onto said kiddo and fumbles to the car. Armfuls of lunch bags, workout bag, purse, and kid two (barefoot and coatless) get drenched. Kid two is stuffed into the carseat (another battle), with baggie of scrambled eggs in hand, and promises of gum when she’s done (the Xylitol kind to “clean” teeth and, more importantly, disguise the not having brushed scent and evidence of Mommy’s rough morning). Now on the road, sibling squabbles ensue  -- at the moment over Disney Princess or Gabba Gabba. “Mommy, it’s not fair!” echoes in high volume stereo.

I’m thankful it’s preschool and there’s no real consequence for tardiness (except that Mommy’s missing out on the 8:35 calm, when kids are in class, there’s no screaming, and Pandora overrides Disney), but that’s the only gratitude I can muster at the moment. Then, another delay: construction. On a good day, I breathe deeply and tune out the escalated backseat brawl, but on this day, I blare the music to drown out the battle, “encourage” the eggs with promises of afternoon cookies, and, finally, threaten lost privileges in my “barely hanging on Mommy” voice. In the 12 minute drive to school, I’ve broken most all of my parenting rules and am flushed with frustration. Teeth clenched, I unload the kiddos, again drenched in process, and feel my blood pressure begin to decrease as we approach the front door. After the 14 beloved goodbye hugs and kisses, I return to the car amazed by the striking mood change, now slightly guilty about how the morning deteriorated but mostly blissful with school in my rearview mirror.

A week later, on this Monday morning, the sun’s out (atypical in January in Portland). It’s a school holiday, so we didn’t have the dreaded Monday madness. There are the usual getting ready struggles, but they're tolerable. We have a fun morning at the museum, Mommy gets a workout (which saves my patience), and the kids take  a nap. Mazzy Star’s soothes me as I type. I feel grateful for my sweet kiddos (not the modifier I would’ve chosen a week ago, but true, nonetheless). I laugh with them, snuggle them, and even though they drive me crazy at times, I love them more than I knew possible.

I notice the contrast in the two Mondays, and my accompanied mood. What's the difference? Some circumstances, but mostly my expectations. As I type, I’m reminded: there will always be goats in the road. I can resist and get frustrated, or smile and turn up the Turkish techno.

[Note. The first school drop off after this post went well despite willful kiddos. Then, just as I'm feeling confident in my ability to handle the goats, car accident! Dealing with insurance agents, body shops and stress. More opportunity to practice... Inspiring me to include a theme song on my blogsite. We'll see if it happens.]