Therapists are People Too

A funny thing happened the other day. As is often typical in session, I was brainstorming with a client about how to talk with her husband about a sensitive subject. As I was offering suggestions, she stated emphatically, and defeated, “Your life must be perfect.”

I’m sure my well thought out intervention – squirting hot tea from my nose  – served as a clear response. NO! My life is pretty darn good, but not perfect, and not easy. I definitely don’t always say or do the right thing.  

It reminded me (and I shared with her) that the way we see people is never the whole story. We all present our “best” selves to people we don’t know well, or in my case, to clients. I can come up with great approaches for her husband, but, like everyone, when I’m triggered and feel angry, hurt or fearful, I’m not so eloquent. It’s why therapists, and everyone for that matter, can give great advice to others, yet we all have to work diligently to apply it in our own lives.

There’s a cliché that says something like “stop comparing your insides to others’ outsides.” It’s so true… yet sooooooooo hard to do. Even if you can’t quite get to the place of letting go of comparisons entirely (it’s a tall order), at least tuck away in that brain somewhere that everyone has issues; nobody’s perfect. When you catch yourself comparing, try to let go of it, and remind yourself that even those who have the lives they want, still have ups and downs. That “together” coworker, neighbor, even therapist, has her own stuff you don’t see. So, stop being hard on yourself. Fumble through, and remember, therapists are people too.